i'm currently in a rejection mode..dun ask me y..cos i dun noe e reason..

i'm rejecting sch..during lessons i'm either stoning, slping, doodling or disturbing others..my classmates muz haf tot tt i'm a super mischievous, notti kid..sori i'm nt..i'm juz rejecting sch life n trying 2 tease everybody..i'm nt studying (n it's already e 3rd wk of sch)..i cum hm n watch tv..use my lappie..wad r notes, tutorials, lectures, textbooks? i hafnt touch them (except during class) haiz..kant stand myself..i'm trying hard 2 study..but currently..NO..

i'm rejecting making new fwens..i may seem lyk i'm close 2 my class..but i only fool ard, 'suan' them, play ard..tt's all..how well do i noe them?even shrimp or tng?i can sae 'i duno'..u may sae it's only e 3rd wk of sch..but i'm tired..i dun wan 2 b e 1 who initiates in getting 2 noe them..it's tiring..there r cliques, frequencies, opinions, interest n lifestyles 2 overcome..how can i continue babbling 2 everybody all e tym? nw i look lyk e monkey of e class..but all tt i eva do is 2 entertain..tt's all..no real fwenships r being forged in e process..

i'm rejecting hafing 2 adapt 2 my 'new' life..rejecting hafing 2 slp early..rejecting 2 wake up early..rejecting tt i haf 2 sacrifice watching tv n slacking..i'm rejecting all these..

n most imptly..i'm rejecting hafing 2 move on..
i juz haf tis feeling tt she has move on n is already with sm1 else..i duno if it's true..but i juz haf tis feeling..or shd i sae '6th sense'..? jealousy?is tis wad i'm feeling?i guess so.. eg: when i ask her out 4 movie..she wld sae tt she's nt interested 2 watch movie or blah blah blah other excuses..den when it's reali nice shows..she would haf already watched it.. how can sm1 who's nt interested 2 watch movie go watch movie? does it make any sense? i'm usually quite pissed off but at e same tym i'm jealous..cos i'm nt e 1 she watched with..haiz..stl sae will cum my hse aft her exams..plus she's moving out of hall liao..so e chance of her fulfilling wad she said.. 0%!! *irritated*
i simply hate always hafing 2 b e one 2 initiate 2 msg or tok on msn..does she stl consider me as a fwen? it's irritating when i take e initiative 2 tok n all tt u reply is juz a single word answer.. kcuf..wad's wrong in replying me?!? oh wadeva..anyway no matter wad she do or irritates me..i stl 'evol' her..haiz..
i dun wan 2 move on..i'm stl clinging on 2 e v little hope tt i haf tt 1day i can 'guh' her agn..sigh..will i b given another chance 2 'evol' u agn? haiz..

i hate my life..